Would you want to see the future, even if you knew you couldnt change it??
So I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately, I've even asked some friends what they think.
Most of them said 'No', that they would prefer the future be a kept hidden , so that they could be surprised by life, and experience everything as it happens not waiting, expecting things to happen.
But for me, the truth is I would love to see what my future looks like, maybe not my whole future, but just certain aspects. I would like to know that I'm heading in the right direction, that my new career i'm about to start in 2 weeks is the right one, that I'll be good at it and excel my knowledge and make a difference in people lives.
I'd like to know that the thoughts constantly running through my head are going to happen, that it's not just my desire but also the desire and goals God has for my life also. After all my life is to please him and do as he so desires not just what I want at this present moment in time.
I'd like to know that the move i'm thinking of embarking on in a year is right, that it's not just my heart telling me to go and leave everything that's comfortable for me, but that there is a greater purpose behind this. I'd like to know that it's not just a spur of the moment idea but that it has a meaning.
I believe this next year of my life will be one where I grow not just emotionally, spiritually and physically, but that I also learn to support myself, and can learn to be braver and stronger in who I am as a person. After all, if I plan on living by myself, in another state away from the comfort of my family I'll need all the inner strength I can gain.
Yes, I'll be able to meet new people, and learn what it's like to have to rely completely on myself but I think it's an important step I need to take. Everyone has to take this step at one point in life, and I don't want to look back and realize that I could of had it all if I'd only plucked up the courage to try new things and take big steps instead of relying on others to do it for me.
I have no doubt that it will be challenging and hard, but it will also be a journey of self discovery. Where I can learn so much more about who I am, what I stand for and what's in-store for my life and my future.
So would you want to see the future, even if you knew you couldn't change it??
Monday, 6 February 2012
Saturday, 4 February 2012
A big change ahead.
Growing up in a family that was constantly moving around, interstate, i hated it as a kid, because it meant you were always like an outsider, the new kid on the block. Who no one knew, but you also never knew how long you would be staying there for, so you were always uncertain as to weather or not you should even consider making new friends.
Now in life when things feel like they're falling apart all I wanna do it gather everything up and move, and start fresh somewhere where no one knows me, but I can't.
A couple weeks ago my life was perfect, I had a good job, an amazing bf and was just enjoying life. But now things have changed, although I have been offered my dream job, one that I have been wanting to do for a long time. I just don't feel like doing it, see my boyfriend (well his now my ex boyfriend) lives in Melbourne. We grew up together, we were pretty much inseparable, that was until I moved to Perth 8 years ago. Over that time we didn't speak to each other and I guess we changed a bit. Which is expected I mean we won't stay the little kids we were back then forever.
But see I can't handle the fact that the only reason why I'm not dating my best friend anymore is because of the distance. I love him and I don't wanna loose him over something that at the moment seems so big,and hard to deal with. But I also know that I don't wanna look back on this moment in 5 years and say 'I lost the guy I loved because I wasn't brave enough to spread my wings and make a change for myself'
So I'm seriously starting to think that I actually want a new start, which would mean moving back to Melbourne, meeting new friends again, living on my own and finding a new job, I'd love to go tomorrow if I could, but I can't, I have to stay in Perth for at least a year so I can complete my post grad and be registered as an enrolled mental health nurse.
I know it would mean leaving behind friends that I have in Perth and moving away from my mum and sister which would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but I guess sometimes in life you need to spread your wings and do things for yourself. Other wise you'll never get anywhere.
In the meantime though I have to convince myself that I can make it through this year and prepare myself for a huge change. I know inside I need to do this, I've always been my mothers daughter always hated being away from her but I have my other family in Melbourne, aunts, uncles, cousins, and life long friends as well, which has its bonus cause I can spend more time with them and make for the 8 years I've missed out on seeing them for.
I guess when you know you've found that one special person, you know you'd do anything you could to hold onto them.
Now in life when things feel like they're falling apart all I wanna do it gather everything up and move, and start fresh somewhere where no one knows me, but I can't.
A couple weeks ago my life was perfect, I had a good job, an amazing bf and was just enjoying life. But now things have changed, although I have been offered my dream job, one that I have been wanting to do for a long time. I just don't feel like doing it, see my boyfriend (well his now my ex boyfriend) lives in Melbourne. We grew up together, we were pretty much inseparable, that was until I moved to Perth 8 years ago. Over that time we didn't speak to each other and I guess we changed a bit. Which is expected I mean we won't stay the little kids we were back then forever.
But see I can't handle the fact that the only reason why I'm not dating my best friend anymore is because of the distance. I love him and I don't wanna loose him over something that at the moment seems so big,and hard to deal with. But I also know that I don't wanna look back on this moment in 5 years and say 'I lost the guy I loved because I wasn't brave enough to spread my wings and make a change for myself'
So I'm seriously starting to think that I actually want a new start, which would mean moving back to Melbourne, meeting new friends again, living on my own and finding a new job, I'd love to go tomorrow if I could, but I can't, I have to stay in Perth for at least a year so I can complete my post grad and be registered as an enrolled mental health nurse.
I know it would mean leaving behind friends that I have in Perth and moving away from my mum and sister which would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but I guess sometimes in life you need to spread your wings and do things for yourself. Other wise you'll never get anywhere.
In the meantime though I have to convince myself that I can make it through this year and prepare myself for a huge change. I know inside I need to do this, I've always been my mothers daughter always hated being away from her but I have my other family in Melbourne, aunts, uncles, cousins, and life long friends as well, which has its bonus cause I can spend more time with them and make for the 8 years I've missed out on seeing them for.
I guess when you know you've found that one special person, you know you'd do anything you could to hold onto them.
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